Don't Make This Harder Than It Already Is

(and other commands)

Drink lots of water

Let loose and have fun.

Update your media

Make sure to stay out of the sun!

Follow through and take a meeting,

Email, reach out, and touch base

Make the 30 under 30 list…

But don’t forget, it’s not a race.

Be ambitious but gracious

Self-centered yet kind.

Go to therapy, but don’t get near me—

if you’re likely to lose your mind.

You’re the marrying type, you’re too easy.

Don’t make this harder than it already is.

Download the apps, present the facts

You’re complacent until you’re already his.

Move faster and meditate

But don’t forget to graduate.

I don’t feel that you appreciate

It would be great if you lost the weight.

Own your sexuality 

But don’t be a SLUT

Instagram is a business and

Porn is smut.

Podcast and tweet, 

And scream your voice heard.

Do your due diligence,

But don’t sully your word.

Protect yourself

And check yourself

Before you upset yourself.

And get put on the high shelf.

Drinking is bad

But I’ll be sad

If you miss my happy hour…

Baby shower…

Writers’ group…

Apartment stoop beer, I’m here…

At the bar for our date, 

Are you late?

Or on vacation where a bottle or two

Is nothing new.

Dinner party, have a hearty

Glass of wine, you’ll be fine, 

I saw it on the gram.

Catch me if you can.

I’m slick. I’m sick.

I’m sick of your commands.

Your bossy zeitgeist, rhingeist, false feist, and overpriced. 

That I can’t stand.

Can’t stand for it.